Monday, November 2, 2009

It's Over

In searching for community and support online I realized something, I have a unique story. A story that may encourage and aid others going through divorce, remarriage, or blending their family.  I’ve decided to open up the deepest and darkest part of my life in an effort to not only continue my healing and rebuilding but to help others on similar journeys.

In April of 2005, my life changed forever.  My marriage disintegrated very, very fast.  Before blinking an eye, I went from a stay-at-home mom attending play-dates and book clubs to a single mom struggling to support two young daughters (ages 1 and 3 at the time).  I was suddenly searching for a job and more determined than ever to finish my college degree.  

I won’t pretend that I thought my marriage was perfect, it was far from it.  However, I thought I was determined to make it work for the sake of the two beautiful daughters we had brought into this world.  I knew I wasn’t happy and that he wasn’t happy -- but I played the martyr very well.  My daughters were not to blame and they deserved to live in an intact family with both Mommy and Daddy.  My misery was worth their peace, at least so I thought.  

That month of April he decided he was all done.  No more games, no more fights, no more tears, he was moving out.  I experienced the full gamut of emotions in the following weeks:   relief, shock, grief, depression, excitement, regret, and plenty of others.  He filed the paperwork and all of the sudden we were getting a divorce, for real.

Do you remember the day you realized your marriage was over, like really over?